Dirty Drawers

Can you prove you are NOT the father? It won't be easy and you won't be able to do it alone. You'll have to win the favor of the audience as you navigate the tricky waters and avoid pulling that fateful card that will damn you for the next 18 years. Tread carefully, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Cat's are just as much our best friends as our dogs. So much so that you may just find that your feline friend has been copying your style. Or did they just come that way? Was there a subconscious superficial connection when you picked up your kitty because they happened to look like you? This book explores the similarities and they are stark.

The unofficial mascot of 2020.

Wearing underwear every day causing you unwanted stress? We understand; those sweaty summer days can really get to ya. How nice it would be to let the air flow freely through the nether regions. But what happens when you urgently realize you need a pair of tidy widdies? You break open a box of emergency underpants.

The odds of you having to take a shot are certain, but which shot you take has yet to be determined. Are you willing to play the odds and drop the coin? Drop wisely.

Leave your money lying around at your own risk. Rumor has it, there's a little panda bear that lives inside the box and he has quite the penchant for loose change. If you're patient enough, you might just catch him quickly coming up out of the box and snatching your loot.

They say you're fives time's more likely to be struck by lightning than win the lottery. Heck, there's even more of a chance you could date a supermodel compared to winning the lottery. So really, what does your next target have to lose when you hand these fake lottery tickets. If anything, at least everyone win's a nice laugh.

So you think you're a Sherlock Holmes type, eh? Think you got what it takes to solve a murder on a consistent basis without losing that dashing charm? Well now's your chance to prove it, with a monthly subscription box that send you a new murder mystery that is sure to put your ego, and your sanity, to the test.

Does it get any better than this? A cat themed monopoly game? Instead of buying property, you buy your favorite cats! If anyone gets in my way, I'll unleash my claws on you. This might turn out to be more rowdy than regular monopoly but I don't care. Now gimme my kittys!

As if game night wasn't chaotic enough already, now you can legally throw object across the room at other players and not be called a sore loser who ruins everything. That's right you cool cats, the disorderly creators of Exploding Kittens have unleashed another bizarro game for our party-stopping pleasure.

Saddle up, buckaroo, it's going to be a long night. You're the sheriff of this party, and so it's your duty to make sure everyone is absolutely plastered by the time they were supposed to leave town. That also means you're in charge of making sure no one drinks and drives, but you already knew that.

Everyone's favorite friendship-fracturing game, now God approved. Rather than trying to take over the entire board, use the power of faith to elevate other players. Only then can you be the first to build a church in one of the bible cities and win, without making anyone else lose.

Set the parenting bar as low as it can possibly go with this book of terrible parenting advice that might actually work. In all fairness, everyone is parenting wrong, so what do you really have to lose?

There's nothing like a good book that reflects exactly how you feel and puts it into words that you would have otherwise gotten fired for saying yourself. Not only is it a great read to remind yourself that you aren't the only one who hates your co-workers, it doubles as a great office party gift for whoever you detest dearly.

Punctuality is a very personable characteristic. As such, one must not disagree with the clock. The time is what the time is, and thus it is, time for a nap.

It's not procrastination, it's time management. Why stress over an assignment that's due next week when I can take a nap now and work later, when I'm nice and refreshed? If it sounds like it makes sense, that means it does. And you can't argue with sound logic. If all else fails, there's always Wikipedia.

Honesty is a virtue, and honestly, I couldn't pretend to care less about what I "need" to do. Finish that report by 3? Clean the garage? Brush my teeth? Maybe I will, but most likely, meh.

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