Bat Knife

A twin-blade, spring-assisted Bat knife. Some things just speak for themselves.

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Christmas time, oh Christmas time, what a time to wear nonsense. Forget that ugly sweater. Suit up and take over the party Stinson-style with this amazingly horrendous selection of Christmas suits. Even grandma wouldn't think of buying you these.
The Tactical Christmas Stocking is what Santa would own in an alternate universe where he decided to moonlight as a Green Beret. Perfect for the rugged survivalist in your family who's been a good little boy/girl all year. Don't fill it with candy canes if you know what's good for you.
Make every morning brew a work of art. No, that doesn't mean you need to learn how to carve coffee foam. Let our favorite art teacher, Mr. Bob Ross, enlighten your day with his happy trees and fluffy clouds and you pour your steaming cup of joe into your new favorite mug. Unfortunately, Bob only arts for those who drink it hot.
First, he taught you how to smoke. Now, he's trying to raise your sodium levels. That guy Popeye never was a great influence but man oh man did he know how to have fun. While modeling your life after Popeye might not be the wisest idea, let the Sailor bring some of his flavor into your kitchen.
You can't fight uncoordinated Foot ninja on an empty stomach. While you can easily have pizza for breakfast, dinner, and lunch, it's not a bad idea to change it up once in a while. Waffles are like the pizza of breakfast. It's the same general shape, you flood it with the sauce of your choice, and top it off with whatever you're craving. Beat that.
Have the Dark Knight help keep you safe on All Hallow's Eve. Rather than risking your life to provide the little minions on your street with sweet treats, set out a bowl of candy under the watchful eye of Batman. No one will dare take more than they are permitted from the Caped Crusader.
Tip his head back and hide your money in the bust of arguably the greatest dramatist of all time. This also happens to be the same bust that Batman hides his secret button inside to unlock the trap door to the Batpoles! If that's still not enough for you, then maybe you're just not meant to be like Batman.
Stuck in a seemingly never-ending conference and can't find a power outlet to plug your phone into? This won't really help you out much unless your conference is happening outdoors. But if you needed to charge your phone while camping, then this is definitely for you. But then again, why are you using your phone while camping?