Nerf Bazooka

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Christmas time, oh Christmas time, what a time to wear nonsense. Forget that ugly sweater. Suit up and take over the party Stinson-style with this amazingly horrendous selection of Christmas suits. Even grandma wouldn't think of buying you these.

The Tactical Christmas Stocking is what Santa would own in an alternate universe where he decided to moonlight as a Green Beret. Perfect for the rugged survivalist in your family who's been a good little boy/girl all year. Don't fill it with candy canes if you know what's good for you.

Make every morning brew a work of art. No, that doesn't mean you need to learn how to carve coffee foam. Let our favorite art teacher, Mr. Bob Ross, enlighten your day with his happy trees and fluffy clouds and you pour your steaming cup of joe into your new favorite mug. Unfortunately, Bob only arts for those who drink it hot.

First, he taught you how to smoke. Now, he's trying to raise your sodium levels. That guy Popeye never was a great influence but man oh man did he know how to have fun. While modeling your life after Popeye might not be the wisest idea, let the Sailor bring some of his flavor into your kitchen.

You can't fight uncoordinated Foot ninja on an empty stomach. While you can easily have pizza for breakfast, dinner, and lunch, it's not a bad idea to change it up once in a while. Waffles are like the pizza of breakfast. It's the same general shape, you flood it with the sauce of your choice, and top it off with whatever you're craving. Beat that.

Can you prove you are NOT the father? It won't be easy and you won't be able to do it alone. You'll have to win the favor of the audience as you navigate the tricky waters and avoid pulling that fateful card that will damn you for the next 18 years. Tread carefully, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Cat's are just as much our best friends as our dogs. So much so that you may just find that your feline friend has been copying your style. Or did they just come that way? Was there a subconscious superficial connection when you picked up your kitty because they happened to look like you? This book explores the similarities and they are stark.

Have the Dark Knight help keep you safe on All Hallow's Eve. Rather than risking your life to provide the little minions on your street with sweet treats, set out a bowl of candy under the watchful eye of Batman. No one will dare take more than they are permitted from the Caped Crusader.