These Cards Will Get You Drunk

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Christmas time, oh Christmas time, what a time to wear nonsense. Forget that ugly sweater. Suit up and take over the party Stinson-style with this amazingly horrendous selection of Christmas suits. Even grandma wouldn't think of buying you these.

The Tactical Christmas Stocking is what Santa would own in an alternate universe where he decided to moonlight as a Green Beret. Perfect for the rugged survivalist in your family who's been a good little boy/girl all year. Don't fill it with candy canes if you know what's good for you.

Take home Santa's classic little helper who reports whether your family has been naughty or nice. It's a creative way to get your kids into the holiday spirit and start a tradition of family games for the Christmas season.

Can you prove you are NOT the father? It won't be easy and you won't be able to do it alone. You'll have to win the favor of the audience as you navigate the tricky waters and avoid pulling that fateful card that will damn you for the next 18 years. Tread carefully, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Cat's are just as much our best friends as our dogs. So much so that you may just find that your feline friend has been copying your style. Or did they just come that way? Was there a subconscious superficial connection when you picked up your kitty because they happened to look like you? This book explores the similarities and they are stark.

Tip his head back and hide your money in the bust of arguably the greatest dramatist of all time. This also happens to be the same bust that Batman hides his secret button inside to unlock the trap door to the Batpoles! If that's still not enough for you, then maybe you're just not meant to be like Batman.

Stuck in a seemingly never-ending conference and can't find a power outlet to plug your phone into? This won't really help you out much unless your conference is happening outdoors. But if you needed to charge your phone while camping, then this is definitely for you. But then again, why are you using your phone while camping?

The unofficial mascot of 2020.